I was at a local bar here earlier today just watching guys walk up and talk to women. I find in funny and sad at the same time to watch guys endlessly walk up to beautiful women and get shot down immediately.
Its usually the same thing every time... the guy walks up close to the girl he likes... so close that there is no other possible reason he could be there but to talk to the girl. He stands next to her pretending that he doesn't want to talk to her while every once in a while glancing at her hoping she might say something to him.
What ends up happening every time is that the guy either finally builds up the courage to say something or gets overcome by fear and walks away pretending like he walked over to her to do something other than talk to her. Before we even talk about what he says to her, let's look a little bit at what he just did. Its very obvious when a guy walks up to a girl that he wants to talk to her. So, when he acts really anxious to be standing somewhere for no reason, the girl knows exactly what he's doing.
She's probably thinking in her head, "Oh no... not another one of THESE guys."
Why? Think about what this guy is doing. He's walking up like he's scared of this little girl and pretending for an extended period of time that he's not there to talk to her in a way that makes it obvious that he's there to talk to her.
And not only that, he's not the first one that did it today. He's not the first one to do it THIS HOUR. Hot girls in bars and clubs have waiting lines of loser guys who try to pretend they aren't interested in women in a way that shows that they are overly interested in them.
Tip! I understand and accept that Law of Attraction is a process. It is a process of gradually reducing the negative vibrational patterns I have towards some areas in my life and replacing them with positive thoughts.
And what makes it even worse is when these guys say something to these girls. Have you ever tried to use one of these lines...
"Hey, do you know what time it is?"
"I just wanted to tell you that... you're beautiful"
"I like your outfit"
"Can I buy you a drink?"
You know, maybe your mom or a girl who isn't very good looking and doesn't get guys who approach her would really like you to come up and say something like that to her. But, rest assured, those four lines were said to this girl probably 10 times each already in the last day or two(I've watched it).
And Guess what... when you say something like that to a girl... when you walk up and act nervous and scared to talk to her... you're just like EVERY OTHER GUY that has talked to her all night long.
Tip! The Law of Attraction teaches us that everything vibrates and every vibration affects all other vibrations. I like the way Abraham-Hicks put it: 'Everything vibrates and is communicating, reacting, responding and integrating with other vibrating things.
You NEED to do something different when you talk to girls. Especially when you talk to HOT girls.
The answer?
Tease her. Teasing girls says so many good things about you. It says that you:
1) Aren't like every other guy in here
2) Aren't overly impressed by her looks
3) Have a sense of humor
4) Are a challenge to her
These are all great traits to have. In addition to being this extremely attractive guy by teasing women, you also weed out women who are insecure. You win in every direction.
So, let's talk a little bit about what teasing comments are. When you tease someone, you give them something and then take it away. For instance, strippers tease you by showing their bodies, making you give them money and then put their clothes back on. It's a total tease.
Well, you can do the exact same thing with a comment. Instead of being just like all the other guys out there and validating women everywhere you go, you can start to tease them.
Here are a few stock comments you can make show you're a completely different guy than most and create engaging conversation...
If you see a girl with a bright colored jacket, say,
"I like your jacket... the 80s look does well for you."
Tip! Choosing Free Will- Free will is about choosing to open your connection to Source or to pinch yourself off and be resistant to the brilliance of who you are. The simplest answer to �How� you accomplish success is to say �Yes� to Source and allow the Law of Attraction to work with great abandon.
When you see a girl with those trendy furry boots on, ask her,
"I really like your boots... did you mean to dress up like Chewbacca tonight?"
When you see a girl with one of those trendy jackets that cut off right above her breasts, ask her,
"Hey, I like your jacket but I feel sorry for the midget you stole it from. He's probably cold now!"
Look at a girl's watch and say,
"That's an awesome watch, my little sister has that exact same one... but her's is pink."
In these teasing comments, we give the girl a compliment and then immediately take it away.
The key to saying something like this is to have a slight smile on your face when you do it. Its all about having a sarcastic, yet funny delivery to it.
It also has to have some playfulness to it. You don't want to look like you're insulting the girl. Most girls understand exactly what you're doing and would LOVE to play along with little comments like this.
If the girl teases you back, ask her if she wants to go outside and fight(keep smiling). If you tease a girl enough, you've eventually start coming up with your own teasing comments that will have women attracted to you.
Go out and try it. You can be like every other guy out there and stand next to a girl for five minutes kicking yourself while trying to think of an original thing to say to a woman. Or, you can immediately walk up with a smile on your face, differentiate yourself from every other guy out there and say something that get her chasing after you.
Tip! The habit of Going beyond Expectations- Going beyond what you are paid to do, what is expected of you or what you want for yourself will be effortless because all of your actions will be inspired actions. The ideas, creativity, solutions and opportunities will just flow because the Law of Attraction is like a big photocopier; it brings you more of what you set out.
I know it's a hard decision. You can be an overly nice guy, chase women who aren't interested in you for the rest of your life and have women walk all over you or you could immediately be challenging, show some back bone and get women chasing you.
You can be one of the 100 "nice guys" who get a fake number from her this week... or you can be the guy who she chases after, calls all the time and wants to have an intimate relationship with.
The key word... TEASE
The next time you go in to kiss a girl, tease her by getting very close to her lips like you're about to kiss her and then lean back away from her and smile.
Tease women whenever you get the chance because it will drive them wild. If you become another boring, predictable guy, you'll lose... every time.
Tip! An Enjoyable Personality- If your leadership flows with the Law of Attraction this will be very easy for you. Because your focus will be on possibility not problems, abundance not lack, intention not expectations.
When you understand attraction and how to build it with women, your dating life will change forever. You won't ever have to "settle" for women you don't want and you'll start having all the options that you want with women.
You can easily learn how to go from making that first approach with a woman to, kissing her, getting her number and getting her back home with you. The great thing about it is that you can get this information immediately and learn all of the secrets that took me years of researching, trial and error, and lots of lonely nights to figure out.
Tip! I find myself automatically assigning all my new desires to Law of Attraction.
If you haven't yet read a copy of "Date the Women of Your Dreams", this book is jam-packed with real world solutions and tested techniques to effectively meet and date women. It isn't theoretical solutions from guys with PhDs who haven't dated in 20 years... this is the real stuff.
And the sooner you learn the secrets of meeting and dating women, the sooner you'll start having the options that you want and deserve with women.
Matt Buschbacher teaches men all across the world how to meet and date women. He offers books, audio programs, seminars and workshops where he takes people into social venues and teaches them how to meet women. Visit his site at http://www.datethewomenofyourdreams.com/ and download a free sample of his book as well as get other great information about women and dating that will cut years off of your learning process.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Creating Attraction with Women in a Relaxed Environment
I've talked to several people recently who feel like their results in meeting women aren't where they'd like to be because of how much anxiety they are feeling with talking to women. They still aren't comfortable with it and are having lots of anxiety when they go to bars and clubs.
So, one of the suggestions I've had for them that I believe could also possibly help you out is to MAKE IT EASIER ON YOURSELF. That's right... if you're always trying to develop your habits of being attractive to women in high stress environments, it may be a little too overwhelming. Here's one of my suggestions to them and I think it may help you out as well. Go somewhere that you make "forced friends."
Forced friends are people who you see a lot and, by default, end up becoming friends with you because... they have to see you and interact with you a lot.
Tip! I find myself automatically assigning all my new desires to Law of Attraction.
Places where you usually can develop forced friends are classes, work, and activity clubs(book clubs etc.).
The second requirement to make this work is that the place you go to has to have a good ratio of women to men.
So, where do these places exist? Actually, there are plenty of them around. There's probably a lot more than you realize.
Most of them just aren't exactly things that all guys want to go do. You could join yoga classes, cooking classes, go to colleges, join activism groups that have lots of females in them, and a lot of other things.
But, the ABSOLUTE best places to go for this type of thing is dance classes. And the BEST types of dance classes to go to are swing and salsa.
There are so many good things that come from learning how to dance and going to dance classes that even if you don't need to make it easier on yourself, you still need to go to these places.
Tip! The Law of Attraction teaches us that everything vibrates and every vibration affects all other vibrations. I like the way Abraham-Hicks put it: 'Everything vibrates and is communicating, reacting, responding and integrating with other vibrating things.
What's so great about these classes? Well, let's see... first off, there's always WAY more girls than guys. Most of the guys are there because of how easy it is to meet women there and are typically pretty bad at socializing with anyone. So, if you have any ability at being a cool guy at all, to the girls there you'll be like a really shiny object to someone with severe ADD.
Secondly, there's lots of physical contact. You have a great excuse to touch girls and get used to touching them(and get them used to you touching them).
Third, you learn how to lead women to do what you want them to. You become a leader by default. Its great practice to develop the habit of leading girls in the direction that you want to lead them.
Lastly, you have a totally legitimate excuse to walk up and talk to them. You're both there to dance, what could possibly be an easier approach than that?
There couldn't possibly be a better place to develop the habits of socializing and creating attraction with women than these places. And if you go to a class, they usually have you rotate around to everyone in the class so you HAVE to meet just about EVERY girl there. Then, it won't be nearly as awkward when you walk up and talk to them.
Tip! Choosing Free Will- Free will is about choosing to open your connection to Source or to pinch yourself off and be resistant to the brilliance of who you are. The simplest answer to �How� you accomplish success is to say �Yes� to Source and allow the Law of Attraction to work with great abandon.
I've dated several women from social swing and salsa dances and many of them are more interesting and fun than the girls you meet in bars and clubs. Personally, I don't think there's a better commitment that you could make other than right now deciding that you're going to sign up for the next salsa or swing group dance class that is available.
Go to the dance classes, get used to being around women and develop the habits of creating attraction with women in an environment that makes it a lot easier. You'll be thanking me once you do.
Matt Buschbacher teaches men all across the world how to meet and date women. He offers books, audio programs, seminars and workshops where he takes people into social venues and teaches them how to meet women. Visit his site at http://www.datethewomenofyourdreams.com/ and download a free sample of his book as well as get other great information about women and dating that will cut years off of your learning process.
So, one of the suggestions I've had for them that I believe could also possibly help you out is to MAKE IT EASIER ON YOURSELF. That's right... if you're always trying to develop your habits of being attractive to women in high stress environments, it may be a little too overwhelming. Here's one of my suggestions to them and I think it may help you out as well. Go somewhere that you make "forced friends."
Forced friends are people who you see a lot and, by default, end up becoming friends with you because... they have to see you and interact with you a lot.
Tip! I find myself automatically assigning all my new desires to Law of Attraction.
Places where you usually can develop forced friends are classes, work, and activity clubs(book clubs etc.).
The second requirement to make this work is that the place you go to has to have a good ratio of women to men.
So, where do these places exist? Actually, there are plenty of them around. There's probably a lot more than you realize.
Most of them just aren't exactly things that all guys want to go do. You could join yoga classes, cooking classes, go to colleges, join activism groups that have lots of females in them, and a lot of other things.
But, the ABSOLUTE best places to go for this type of thing is dance classes. And the BEST types of dance classes to go to are swing and salsa.
There are so many good things that come from learning how to dance and going to dance classes that even if you don't need to make it easier on yourself, you still need to go to these places.
Tip! The Law of Attraction teaches us that everything vibrates and every vibration affects all other vibrations. I like the way Abraham-Hicks put it: 'Everything vibrates and is communicating, reacting, responding and integrating with other vibrating things.
What's so great about these classes? Well, let's see... first off, there's always WAY more girls than guys. Most of the guys are there because of how easy it is to meet women there and are typically pretty bad at socializing with anyone. So, if you have any ability at being a cool guy at all, to the girls there you'll be like a really shiny object to someone with severe ADD.
Secondly, there's lots of physical contact. You have a great excuse to touch girls and get used to touching them(and get them used to you touching them).
Third, you learn how to lead women to do what you want them to. You become a leader by default. Its great practice to develop the habit of leading girls in the direction that you want to lead them.
Lastly, you have a totally legitimate excuse to walk up and talk to them. You're both there to dance, what could possibly be an easier approach than that?
There couldn't possibly be a better place to develop the habits of socializing and creating attraction with women than these places. And if you go to a class, they usually have you rotate around to everyone in the class so you HAVE to meet just about EVERY girl there. Then, it won't be nearly as awkward when you walk up and talk to them.
Tip! Choosing Free Will- Free will is about choosing to open your connection to Source or to pinch yourself off and be resistant to the brilliance of who you are. The simplest answer to �How� you accomplish success is to say �Yes� to Source and allow the Law of Attraction to work with great abandon.
I've dated several women from social swing and salsa dances and many of them are more interesting and fun than the girls you meet in bars and clubs. Personally, I don't think there's a better commitment that you could make other than right now deciding that you're going to sign up for the next salsa or swing group dance class that is available.
Go to the dance classes, get used to being around women and develop the habits of creating attraction with women in an environment that makes it a lot easier. You'll be thanking me once you do.
Matt Buschbacher teaches men all across the world how to meet and date women. He offers books, audio programs, seminars and workshops where he takes people into social venues and teaches them how to meet women. Visit his site at http://www.datethewomenofyourdreams.com/ and download a free sample of his book as well as get other great information about women and dating that will cut years off of your learning process.
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